WHO AM I? (Part 1)
By: Marvin Glover-Bey #224019
For those who want to know… “WHO IS MARVIN GLOVER-BEY and WHAT IT’S BEEN LIKE FOR ME IN PRISON??”
Well, when I came to prison I was CONFUSED by a world I didn’t create and CONFOUNDED by one I was afraid to change. My experiences (upbringing) had me change the narrative of what my life was/is and should be about. I had to realize the severity of my circumstances and find purpose. So, I began to inform myself of what I am not: “IMPULSIVE, INCONSIDERATE, INSECURE and LACK UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION”. I didn’t want to pass my days in perpetual restraint. I figured I was far above the meanness of dissimulation which is when I started to restore a sense of SELF-WORTH by educating myself to know some things about myself (the real me) etc.
It’s been hard living under restricted activities for approximately 30 years (99.9% of rules) unconducive for human development; limited friends and family access. Fictitious relationships, broken promises from people you hoped to rely on, etc.
Who is Marvin? MARVIN is a man of God (an immature thought developing a mature thought). A man whose mind thinks in terms of intelligent options, alternatives and consequences before deciding upon a course of action. A man who meets challenges and does not compromise his principles to circumstances or the pressures of his conditions. A man who can admit when wrong, out of order or in error, and doesn’t feel himself a “chump”, “fool” or “sucka” in doing so!!
My philosophy is a man without principles is likened to a body without bones (and) a man without morals is likened to a car on a steep hill without brakes or a steering wheel. As a (Moorish American) Moslem, when I consecrated my Prophet Noble Drew Ali as a prophet and trusted Allah (God) as my personal savior, I felt like He reached down from Heaven (which is a state of mind) and placed a new set of eyes in my eye socket to view the world and fully understand spiritual truth.
My experience is not unique to say the least; however, it has brought me unique perception to discern certain events, occupations and affairs, etc. I don’t believe in the amount of money earned (or acquired) nor the number of degrees one amasses that determines who is and who is not? For individuals can secure both and still be emotionally immature, irresponsible and insensitive to the rights and needs of other human beings; even to the point of neglecting his/her own family social norms. What is the life of such an individual, but the phantom of a dream? But what exalted form is this, which directs its uninterrupted course — whose foot is on earth; whose head is above the clouds?
As a Moor man I KNOW that virtues are allotted to various stations, so I seek not after impossibilities, nor grieve that I cannot possess them all. Truth is but one… our doubts are of our own raising. He (which is God) who made virtues what they are, planted in us a knowledge of their pre-eminence. Therefore, I act as my soul dictates to me whereas the end shall always be right. My family has always been my source of living as it should; however, the wealth in that notion of family I took as a token of Allah’s grace to explain to me the importance why such a people exist and link generation of great favor and amass what nation remember most (the legacy of such family name).
Years back as I was studying self and the history of which is known as HIS-STORY I discovered a letter by European American that changed the narrative for which I am who I am today and why I think, breathe and believe the way I do.
Read this letter as I did and think about your life…
(To be continued in Part 2)